Amendment

I’m still shaking my head over a conversation I heard while walking in my neighborhood. The characters: four or five middle school boys. The setting: a driveway. What they were doing: tossing a football and talking.

“What’s the First Amendments?” asked Boy 1.

“I (mumble, mumble),” said Boy 2.

“Ha! You don’t know!” said Boy 1, in a condescending tone.

“Well, neither do you!” protested Boy 2.

“Of course I know the First Amendments,” said Boy 1. “That’s why I asked you!”

“If you know what it is,” said Boy 2, “why are you asking me?”

“To see if you know,” said Boy 1. “And I’m not gonna tell you what it is!”

“Ha! You think you’re so smart!” said Boy 2. “But you don’t know the First Amendments either since you won’t say what it is.”

“Harrumph!” said Boy 1. “Everybody knows what it is. Everybody except you.”

During all of this the other boys were quietly passing the ball around, likely hoping to avoid getting the question directed their way.

When I looped by the house a second time, boys were still arguing, though on a different topic, and louder than ever. Boy 2 was going after Boy 3 and prefacing every comment with: “Now let me get this straight….”

My observation: there’s a lot these kids need to get straight, starting with the difference between singular and plural. They seem to not know the difference, based on their reference to the First Amendments.

I don’t know what grade they’re in, but I think they’ve earned an F not only in American History, but in English, as well.