The Perfect Submission

Many thanks for your submission. Unfortunately, this one didn’t work for us. We are sorry to write that we do not feel your project is suitable for our list. Regrettably, we are unable to accept your manuscript for publication. I am so full of stories I could burst, yet I can’t seem to choose the right words, or place them in a format that anyone wants to read. Do you ever wonder how many different ways there are to say Rejected? Enough to wallpaper a small room, in my case. I sometimes feel like the practice dummy for a boss who wants to fire an employee. The only difference is that with rejection notices, I don’t have to worry about getting spit in my eye. It’s not that I’m unfamiliar with good words. I have an extensive vocabulary and could probably win a...