Teacher

My son is a teacher, a university professor. I find this amazing because, in spite of my father and sister being teachers, I was not born with that ability. My efforts to teach my children piano met with disaster: crying, refusing to do as I instructed, and finally quitting after a half dozen lessons.

Though I play the piano well, it does not translate to being a good piano teacher. When I understand or do things intuitively, I can’t conceive of other people not getting it, so I have no idea how to teach them.

I repeat: I am not a teacher. Never have been. Never will be.

My son, Chris, however, has been teaching me all his life. I first glimpsed his ability when he was only seven. His little sister was in hysterics one afternoon because I couldn’t help her with homework (remember, I’m not a teacher), so I decided to put myself in time-out (i.e., remove myself from the situation.) As I walked towards my bedroom fighting back tears, Chris stopped me with these words:

“It’s okay, Mom. We love you. You don’t have to be perfect.”

Wow. Only seven, but still able to put his thumb on the heart of the matter, something I would see him do time and again in the future.

I believed that as a good mother, I should be able to help my child with homework. When I couldn’t, I felt like a failure. I wasn’t just upset out of empathy for my child, though that was surely part of it. I was also distressed because I believed that a good mother should be able to soothe the tears, take away the pain, and fix the problem. Hard as I tried, I couldn’t.

I don’t know where I got the idea that I was supposed to fix every problem. I don’t remember my mother doing that for me; I just recall working long and hard to figure out and fix things for myself.

Regardless of the reason, I expected to solve things for my children. And Chris saw this. I don’t know how, but I suspect I know why. God allowed him to see truth as a way of awakening me, helping me to see the foolishness and impossibility of my self-expectations. We have to see before we can take a step towards change, a step towards letting go and giving things to God.

A much needed lesson to a mother from her son…God’s little teacher.