Poop

I have a friend, an occupational therapist, with an interesting and fun job—helping people improve their fine motor skills.  I have long considered her blessed to be able to do this every day.

After hearing the following story, however, I began to reconsider her blessings.

Near the end of a recent shift, Kathy was working with an elderly lady who suddenly announced, “I need to poop!”

In relating the story, Kathy asked us, “What proper southern woman uses a word like poop?” at which, my husband promptly pointed to me.

I will admit that poop is practically my favorite word; I use it often.  It doesn’t sound as harsh as crap and it certainly is not considered a curse word, as is shit.  Many situations require this word.  When I enter a transaction in the wrong bank account in QuickBooks, I say poop.  When the printer jams, I say poop.  When I spill a drink on my desk, I say poop.

I work in a church office, where words like shit are not appropriate.  Poop, however, expresses my frustration but also sounds a bit cute.

I like that in a word.

Unfortunately, my friend’s patient used the word with a different purpose.  She really needed to poop.

Sadly, there was no time for Kathy to summon one of the nurse’s aides, so she helped the lady into the bathroom, where the lady quickly announced that Kathy needed to wipe her bottom.

Occupational therapists do not wipe people’s bottoms, but give instructions that will help the patients do it for themselves.  The woman insisted she could not, however, so with no aide in sight, Kathy tried to help.

Apparently, her efforts were not successful.

“Didn’t anyone teach you how to wipe butts?” the lady asked.

“No,” Kathy said.  “That’s an aide’s job, not a therapist’s job.”

“You need to go deeper!  Dig deeper!”

Dig?  Deeper?

Kathy was totally grossed out, as was I when I heard the story.

Perhaps it’s time for a new favorite word.