Every progress report my two grown children ever brought home from school, kindergarten through twelfth grade.<\/p>\n
Newspaper articles listing \u00a0students who made the honor roll.<\/p>\n
Forty-year-old resumes.<\/p>\n
Texts from every CPE course I’ve taken for the past fifteen years.<\/p>\n
Old financial records.\u00a0 Lots and lots of financial records.<\/p>\n
Computer diskettes containing God only knows what.\u00a0 I haven’t had a computer equipped to look at them in years.<\/p>\n
Every piece of artwork my children ever did.<\/p>\n
My dad’s old financial records.\u00a0 He has been dead since 2008.<\/p>\n
Stacks of old mail that belonged to that same dad.<\/p>\n
Really ugly paintings from an art class I took six years ago.<\/p>\n
Many small stuffed Santas, elves and reindeer given to my children when they were little and unused in Christmas decorating for at least ten years.<\/p>\n
Eighteen-year-old cassette tapes of children’s stories.<\/p>\n
Flower vase from a floral delivery twenty-seven years ago.<\/p>\n
Muffin tins.\u00a0 I never bake muffins.<\/p>\n
The frying pan I never use because it’s too heavy to pick up with one hand.<\/p>\n
Research related to my natural health practice, a failed business from twelve years ago.<\/p>\n
Financial Applications for Student Aid from the kids’ college days.<\/p>\n
Copies of applications for every college they applied to.<\/p>\n
X-rays of my head after a 2005 collision with a horse.<\/p>\n
Four dead cell phones.<\/p>\n
A small dog bowl used by the dog who died in 2005.<\/p>\n
At least two hundred fifty blank envelopes left over from boxes of stationery and Christmas cards.<\/p>\n
Felt and foam squares purchased for elementary school projects.<\/p>\n
Ditto for a bag of tongue depressors and popsicle sticks.<\/p>\n
Flashlights with battery compartments that can’t be opened because of corrosion.<\/p>\n
Empty shoe boxes.<\/p>\n
Old church bulletins.<\/p>\n
Empty binders.<\/p>\n
Wooden pencils with rotten erasers.<\/p>\n
Dry erase markers.\u00a0 Haven’t owned a dry erase board in years.<\/p>\n
Old dog treats that upset the dog’s stomach two years ago.<\/p>\n
Unsavory spices, some of which were twenty years old.<\/p>\n
Paperwork from my 1982 divorce.<\/p>\n
The marriage certificate from the 1977 marriage that preceded the divorce.<\/p>\n
Smelly candles.<\/p>\n
Evaluations from the career I gave up in 1987, after becoming a mom.<\/p>\n
Graduation cap and gown from my daughter’s 2007 high school graduation which she declined to attend.<\/p>\n
Macrame necklaces I made at a hippie bead shop in 1973.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Every progress report my two grown children ever brought home from school, kindergarten through twelfth grade. Newspaper articles listing \u00a0students who made the honor roll. Forty-year-old resumes. Texts from every CPE course I’ve taken for the past fifteen years. Old financial records.\u00a0 Lots and lots of financial records. Computer diskettes containing God only knows what.\u00a0 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=34"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34\/revisions\/35"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=34"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=34"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/oldkaren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=34"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}