A New Syndrome

Most everyone knows of Attention Deficit Disorder, exhibited by people who can’t sit still and constantly bounce from one thing to another. There are medications available for this condition. But attention surplus needs to be addressed as well. It’s characterized by a person sitting hour after hour, sometimes with eyes open and sometimes, closed. Individuals appear to be content, whether staring at the television or being sound asleep. There are varying degrees of attention surplus, with some people sitting still for a solid hour, while others manage a full day.

I’ve often suspected my husband suffered from something because of his ability to sit so long without moving. Many husbands do this despite perpetual nagging by their wives. Retired men, in particular, are affected; accordingly, any treatment should be covered by Medicare.

Because of the contentment factor, attention surplus can be characterized as a syndrome rather than a disorder. But, as with many medical conditions, Attention Surplus Syndrome doesn’t get the attention it deserves. Accommodations are made for ADD. Why not for ASS? Are those affected meant to forever suffer the contempt of those who are not?

Short of medications, an annoyed spouse could make special efforts to disturb her ASS-sufferer. Suggestions include talking loudly on the phone while he is asleep in his recliner, reorganizing his book collection, or inviting guests over. Of course, there is always the option of a caffeine drip down his throat while his snoring mouth is slightly agape. Any of these options may proved to be more effective than simply asking an ASS-prone spouse to get up off his ass.

2 Comments

  1. Susie Dunham
    Sep 6, 2019

    hahaha… I love this blog. On one of our many moves, we’d had the big screen television set up first in the downstairs bonus room. As the mover guys walked in with couches, chairs, bookcases, etc… they’d catch the moving/talking screen and slow their steps mesmerized by whatever was flickering away on the giant screen. They were in a trance. We finally had to turn it off to get the rest of the move completed.

    • Karen Curran
      Sep 6, 2019

      Ha ha, Susie! That TV had your movers hypnotized! You were wise to turn it off!

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