An event called Porchfest is held each year in the Westhaven subdivision of Franklin. Residents throughout the community allow their front porches to be used as platforms for musicians to perform. The event is complete with food trucks and a large stage on the lake for the concert finale of the day.

George and I enjoyed walking through the neighborhood, stopping along the way to enjoy a few songs at each porch. We sat on the curb across the street from one performer as a group of three or four couples settled in beside us. Unfortunately, these people weren’t content to sit or stand still listening to the music. They were engrossed in their conversations, mainly about who among them could take the best pictures. Two of the men kept squeezing by me, one after the other, to stand in the street facing their friends to snap pictures. They seemed oblivious to the cars and golf carts driving by and were even more oblivious to me. While one was snapping pictures, the other would stand close beside me, slightly turned toward his friends in a group pose. Problem was, with me sitting and him standing, his butt was only inches from my face. Two different men, two different butts. Both aimed at my face.

This was not comfortable, so I pressed myself against George. And I prayed, “Please don’t fart, please don’t fart.” I finally stood up when I couldn’t lean any further, and we moved on down the street.

Maybe it was time to go home.

When we reached the lake, we noticed a girl singing and playing her guitar on one of the porches; she was being drowned out, though, by the band on the main stage directly across the street. This band wasn’t scheduled to perform until later, so they must have been practicing or doing sound checks, but it was a big, Chicago-type band, complete with brass section and they were loud. Very loud. After they ran through one song, the girl started singing a sweet hymn, but then the big band cranked up again and I could no longer hear her. They apparently didn’t care that they were keeping her from sharing her music.

Porchfest. Rudefest.

Definitely time to go.

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