Poop

I have a friend, an occupational therapist, with an interesting and fun job—helping people improve their fine motor skills.  I have long considered her blessed to be able to do this every day. After hearing the following story, however, I began to reconsider her blessings. Near the end of a recent shift, Kathy was working with an elderly lady who suddenly announced, “I need to poop!” In relating the story, Kathy asked us, “What proper southern woman uses a word like poop?” at which, my husband promptly pointed to me. I will admit that poop is practically my favorite word; I use it often.  It doesn’t sound as harsh as crap and it certainly is not considered a curse word, as is shit.  Many situations require this word.  When I enter a...

Cataracts

My eye doctor is trying to confuse me.  He recently looked into my dilated eyes and told his assistant, cataracts, which, based on the clicking of her computer keys, she promptly noted. “I’m too young for that,” I said. “No, not really,” he wisely informed me. “Tell me what a cataract is,” I said. He launched into the explanation that cataract is actually the Latin term for lens and that we all have them.  I.e., we all have lenses in our eyes. Well, duh…. But I don’t think that’s what he was communicating to his assistant when she noted the word in my file. “So…tell me what is wrong with my cataracts, then,”  I said. “As we age…”  He would have to preface his comments that way....

Chin

I don’t like my chin. The skin hangs from it like it’s not really attached to anything.  Maybe it would be more appropriate to say I don’t like my neck, but I don’t see that there’s much difference.  It’s simply that part of me between my jaws and my shoulders that really has me undone. I know I’m old, but I’ve only gained ten pounds in the past forty years.  I’m far from being obese, though with the shrinkage in my height due to osteoporosis, I do have a bit of a roll around my middle.  I’m still a solid size 8, however, and my husband insists I’m hot. I’ve seen elderly women whose faces were smooth, yet their necks looked startlingly different, rough as a turkey’s wattle (the red thing that...